A Dash of Salt

Lessons We're Still Learning in Marriage

Our Silver Anniversary has prompted me to ponder lessons from our marriage...

• The secret of making a marriage work for the long haul (and ours has not been that long...our next door neighbors have been married for 70+ years!) is keeping our commitment to one another and the Lord in the power of the Holy Spirit.
• The best marriage advice I ever received came from my dad just a few days before our wedding when he reminded me of Colossians 3:19, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter [harsh] against them."  It's easy to become bitter and harsh toward your marriage partner, and that's why forgiving one another quickly is so important to marital harmony.  This has greatly helped us.
• Asking God to love your spouse through you works.  He loves Dawn perfectly.  He knows what's best for her.  My selfishness distorts my perspective and weakens my willingness to serve her.  When I ask Him to love her through me, He does.
• Communication is the life-blood of a healthy marriage.  Dawn and I still have a lot to learn about communicating biblically with one another, but we are making progress.  Ephesians 4:25-32 is an important passage to us.
• Before we got married, college friends of ours who had recently tied the knot warned us that marriage takes work, and they were right.  We have indeed found that it's hard work to clearly communicate, solve problems, rear children, and submit to one another in love.  But the work is worth it when we see our relationship grow stronger, happier, and more holy.
• I definitely married out of my league when Dawn and I said "I do" back in 1982.  I am a more godly person because of Dawn's influence and encouragement.  She's a wonderful partner to me and a terrific mother to our children.  I understand why the church fathers considered marriage a sacrament (a means of God's grace) because it is a hothouse for spiritual growth when you depend on the Lord and apply his Word.

I'm still surprised that Dawn said yes to me when I proposed to her over 25 years ago, but I am mighty glad she did! 

We're Off to the Big Apple!

Tomorrow, Dawn and I are heading off bright and early to New York City for our 25th Wedding Anniversary Adventure.  We have tickets to see "The Phantom of the Opera" on Broadway at the Majestic Theatre and not many plans after that.  Twenty-five years ago we went to Williamsburg, VA, for several days on our honeymoon and took in a play at Ford's Theatre on our way back home to Hagerstown. 

Unfortunately, the weather forecast is calling for showers, so it might be a wet couple of days for us.  The kids will be holding down the fort together in Hanover while we're away.  They can handle it.  Dawn and I both enjoy big cities, and we visited NYC back in 2001 with our children just five weeks before 9/11.  We all had a lot of fun during our time there back then. 

The weekend will find Dawn and me in Philadelphia.  We have tickets to see the King Tut exhibit, "Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs," at the Franklin Institute.  Sounds romantic, huh?  (Actually, when Dawn and I got married, she did come down with the Egyptian Flu...it turned her into a "mummie."  Very bad pun, I know.)  We also will be seeing our daughter, Audrey, and that'll be fun.

I have not been able to give this blog the attention it's needed lately, and I hope that hasn't frustrated you as much as it has me.  Even though Dawn and I will be away, I have put together a few entries that will post automatically on some of the days we're gone.

Ingredients for Marriage Harmony

Six ingredients for a harmonious marriage are found in Ephesians 5:22-33...

1. The wife's willing submission to her husband (22-24).
2. The husband's loving sacrifice for his wife (25-33).
3. Both spouses' steadfastness ("keep on loving"; "keep on submitting").
4. Both spouses' separation ("leave father and mother," 31).
5. Both spouses' stickiness to one another ("cling to his wife," 31).
6. Both spouses depending on the Savior ("as to the Lord...").

Listen to Understand; Speak to Be Understood

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you...However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  (Ephesians 4:29-32, 5:33, NIV)